Being a Carer: The supportive Power of Yoga On and 0ff the Mat.
- Donna Negus
- 3 hours ago
- 5 min read
Yoga is far more than the ability to perform asanas.
Yoga teaches us what we cannot do as well as what we can. We learn about our abilities as well as our frailty. I am writing this at a time when I am asking for help from Professional Carers.
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease 5 years ago but her memory loss began many years before this. Stories were repeated, memories muddled, things misplaced. The world she inhabited became her own reality and as a Carer I learnt to agree with everything she said and believed to be true. This kept her calm and happy but was not without emotional impact on me.
It’s thought that two out of three people living with dementia in the UK have Alzheimer’s disease. It’s a physical illness which, as it progresses, damages a person’s brain.
A brain scan showed there was significant loss to areas of mum’s brain. Those parts that act like a secretary, collating, organising and evaluating had deteriorated. Memories were confused, if not lost and her personality continues to change. Over time, our relationship reversed. This is documented in www.alzheimers.org.uk and it is not surprising that as a ‘person’s dementia progresses, the impact on those around them is likely to increase’.
As a Carer, and daughter I was unprepared for the deep impact Grief had on me; When someone close to you has dementia, you may experience a sense of loss even before they have died. This is called ‘anticipatory grief’. www.alzheimers.org.uk
Being in this state for prolonged periods of time activates the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and causes us to be in a chronic state of stress. A little stress keeps us motivated, allows us to meet deadlines and keep us attentive. Long term stress has debilitating effects.
Taking care of a family member with a chronic disease or disability is usually an inevitable cause of chronic stress for the caregiver
(Kabat-Zinn J Full Catastrophe Living)
Our bodies have evolved to cope with acute/short term stress very well. The SNS activates when we have to run for a bus, stand up for ourselves and avoid danger (to name a few examples). Our resting, healthy state is not this. The Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) activation is the ‘normal, resting state of our body, brain and mind’ (Hanson R Buddha’s Brain). If we are in prolonged states of SNS activation, our health suffers.
Yoga
Practicing yoga gives us the tools to come out of the SNS response. We give ourselves time to observe ourselves, to slow down and ultimately to rest. This gives our body a chance to ‘reset’.
Yoga has been a part of my life since my teenage years. In her book, Awakening the Spine, Vanda Scaravelli gives us the idea;
To twist, stretch, and move around, is pleasant and enjoyable, a body holiday.
To come into contact with sensations in our body is to be present and when we are truly present, there is no problem. Problems arise with thoughts and worries; ruminations of past events and anticipations of the future. My yoga practice cultivates the ability to be attentive to the ‘here and now’ and my physical yoga practice serves as a gateway to emotional awareness. This has given me the tools to deal with the situation I found myself in.
Self -Compassion
In her book, ‘Self Compassion’, Kristin Neff talks of ‘suffering coming from two main sources; ourselves not being as we want or our lives not being as we want’. Working with the concept of self-compassion has been instrumental in bringing me to the realisation that things unfold as they do. Being judgemental or wishing things to be different is not helpful as this leads to expectation and attachment to outcome. The Bhagavad Gita is a great text to refer to for this;
Those who are motivated only by the desire of the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do.
(Easwaran E The Bhagavad Gita Chapter 2 V 49)
Being with someone with Alzheimer’s disease fast tracks you into the realm of doing what you do because you can, not because you want something for it. What we do is not remembered by them so it is not performed for reward or thanks but because we love them.
Kindness and Love
This is deeply rooted in Yoga. The concept of ahimsa (Patanjali II:30) is something we all, as yogis, know about. This can be tested to its limits when we are performing selfless service to others for many years and this is when it is vital to remember we are only Human.
Working with meditations that encourage kindness is key. Self-kindness involves;
Actively comforting ourselves, responding just as we would to a dear friend in need.
( Neff K Self Compassion)
Meditating with the concepts of kindness and compassion cultivates self-care. We begin to acknowledge others experience similar situations and this builds the thread of connection that allows us to gain perspective on situations that can sometimes seem overwhelming.
Gratitude
Each morning, along with meditation I practice Gratitude. Actively thinking of at least three things to be grateful for gives a positive mindset. We are less likely to be depressed if we have feelings of optimism. We are less likely to be resentful if we express Gratitude. Practicing gratitude has been shown to strengthen the immune system, lower blood pressure and improve sleep (www.verywellmind.com).
Our mind is like a muscle and the more we train it the more it will develop in the way it is helpful to us. A positive mindset encourages a positive mindset. Giving attention is the foundation to Yoga practice.
As our ability to ‘attend’ grows so does the understanding that what we are experiencing is only what we are experiencing. Allowing ourselves to be sad and/or anxious become fleeting emotions. These emotions or feelings can be likened to weather patterns; changeable. Knowing nothing lasts forever allows us to be with what we are feeling whether these sensations are comfortable or not.
Practicing Yoga teaches us to befriend what comes to us and realise there is Beauty and Learning in all we encounter. Caring for someone we love with a debilitating illness can leave us feeling broken-hearted, lost and deeply unhappy. I was once told that Grief is the price we pay for loving deeply. My sadness comes from a deep place of love and Yoga teaches us that when we let go of everything, love remains.
Donna Negus
BWY teacher and Diploma course tutor.
Long term student of the insights given to us by Vanda Scaravelli.
Mindfulness and Compassion trained teacher
Bibliography and references
Bryant E (2009) The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali North Point Press
Easwaran E (1985) The Bhagavad Gita Penguin
Hanson R (2009) Buddha’s Brain New Harbinger Publications
Kabat-Zinn J (2013) Full Catastrophe Living Piatkus
Neff K (2011) Self Compassion Yellow Kite Books
Scaravelli V (1991) Awakening the Spine Harper collins
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